How to annoy your coworkers (based on data)

Hi! I’m Peter, CEO of Kickresume, and these career-related stories caught my attention this month — and might catch yours too.

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I came across this funny quote on LinkedIn: “if you don’t have an annoying coworker, you are the annoying coworker.”

I was like, wait, my coworkers aren’t annoying! Does that mean that…? 

No way…Could it be that I'm the annoying one? 

I knew right then and there that a dark suspicion like that had to be addressed! Of course, I didn’t want to blow things out of proportion without making absolutely sure that my fears were realized. 

So I did what any normal person would do—I told my content team to prepare a survey about what typically annoys people about their colleagues. You know, just to see if I’m guilty of any of them.

To my surprise, nearly 3,000 people responded.

Talk about blowing things out of proportion…

Ever met a micromanaging lunch thief who’s always complaining while invading your personal space?

To see if I'm indeed the annoying one, I first had to find out what behavior annoys people the most. 

To do that, we surveyed 2,894 people mostly aged 25-44 from all over North America, Europe, South America, and Asia. 

Turns out, 85% of the respondents have dealt with an annoying coworker.

Yep, now I'm 85% more sure I was right to look into this.

But hey, maybe that simply means I’m working with the remaining 15%? 

Seems like every workplace has at least one. But who are they exactly? 

The survey had people rate how much certain coworker traits annoy them on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being the most likely to cause an eye twitch. 

So, let’s look at the biggest office offenders:

• Credit Stealers (33%) 

• Micromanagers (32%) 

• Chronic Complainers (30%) 

• Personal Space Intruders (30%) 

• Lunch Thieves (27%) 

Other annoying characters people recognized were tech illiterates, late arrivers, and 'sick but shows up at work' types. Though the low numbers showed that people are likely to let these types slide.

Honestly, it's a miracle any work gets done at all with all these characters around…

On the brighter side though, I didn't find myself in any of the archetypes described above.

But that doesn't mean I was ready to let go of my suspicions just yet.

I simply had to start looking for other patterns…

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Solution? Avoid conflict and suffer in silence, of course.

Maybe my coworkers' behavior could provide some cues? After all, if I knew how people deal with annoying types, I could start looking for that type behavior around me.

(Am I slipping deeper and deeper into madness? Maybe.)

So, how do workers cope with all this annoying behavior? 

Well, it turns out, most people (32%) prefer to keep their distance and avoid the drama altogether while another 17% just pretend it’s not happening. 

As a millennial, I'm glad to see the classic suffer-in-silence approach is still alive and well. Though I’m not sure it helps my investigation. 

Thankfully, some people take a more direct approach when dealing with annoying coworkers. 

• 17% face the annoyance head-on and ask the person to stop

• A vocal 12% vent to their coworkers, seeking some shared misery 

• Another 12% report it to a manager or HR 

I’ve been observing my coworkers for a week now and I don’t think I’ve seen any of them keeping their distance from me. 

On the other hand, some types of coping are nearly impossible to notice, like “pretend it’s not happening—17%.” How am I supposed to know if they’re just pretending I’m not annoying? 

I also haven't had any of my employees come up to me and confront me about any major thing…

And reporting to HR may be a bit of a problem in our small company – since, well, I'm the HR department. 

Now, these are only the things people actually do when they’re trying to cope with annoying behavior. What about all those things they don’t do but wish they could?

Oh, the many vicious things people wish they could do to their coworkers.

I’m all about authenticity and wouldn’t want my colleagues to act in a way that doesn’t feel natural to them…

So, in my quest to get rid of (or deepen?) my paranoia, I also wanted to know how people secretly wish they could deal with annoying coworkers.

Here’s what nearly 3,000 respondents had to say:

• 41% want to address the issue head-on by telling their colleagues what they think

• 19% pray for their soul, hoping their colleagues will magically change

• 11% wish the annoying coworker would be fired

• 10% would prefer to ostracize the offender

• 6% dream of public humiliation or covertly damaging reputations

• 5% have thoughts of violence (yikes!)

Wait, so they just want to tell me I’m annoying but don’t know how? (If any of my employees are reading this – please, I'm begging you, just come up and tell me!! It'd save us both a lot of anxiety.)

Oh and ostracism? Public humiliation? VIOLENCE??? It’s good to know most of these are just fantasies. Hopefully.

At least it's a bit comforting to know that I'm not getting fired. 

FYI, the full annoying coworkers survey results revealed other juicy details, such as how remote work changed annoying coworker behavior. 

It’s not just me, we're all annoying

TWO DAYS LATER — So, I did some thinking and I’m okay now.

A funny thing happened that made me realize there’s no point in obsessing over whether someone finds me annoying.

I didn’t sleep well last night (I blame my two-year-old). I came to the office tired and, well, annoyed. During a meeting, I found myself getting really irritated with my colleagues, even though they weren't doing anything particularly annoying. I was just cranky from the lack of sleep.

It hit me then: everyone gets annoyed from time to time because, well, life happens and bad days happen. We can all be annoying sometimes, even if we’re not doing anything objectively annoying.

That's not to say objectively annoying behavior doesn’t exist. But I think if you’re not a known lunch thief or a credit stealer, you should be safe.

On the other hand, if you have a workplace nemesis and wish to annoy them to no end, now you know how to go about it. (Not that I’m encouraging such behavior, ofc.)

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Random piece of career advice

It's pretty well established now that when you're asked “Do you have any questions for us?” at a job interview – you should definitely NOT say “No.”

Asking questions shows your genuine interest, demonstrates your critical thinking, and lets you learn more about your potential workplace. 

Now, what's the point of preparing unique interview questions to ask an employer? 

Think about it this way: basic questions call for basic answers. 

On the other hand, unique questions can help you uncover details about the employer and the job position that generic ones simply can't. 

Here are 5 unique questions you can ask at a job interview to be memorable: 

1. Can you tell me about a recent team project that you’re particularly proud of and explain why it was successful?

2. How has this role evolved over the past few years, and how do you see it changing in the future?

3. Reflecting on those who have held this position before, what made the difference between the ones who were good and those who were really great at the job?

4. What are the backgrounds and expertise of the team members?

5. How do leaders in the company stay approachable and in touch with all levels of employees?

You can find 15 more unique questions to ask at a job interview (along with questions you should definitely AVOID) on our blog. 

Hope you didn't think I'd let you go without a discount… 

As a reward for your unmatched scrolling skills, here’s a 20% discount code for Kickresume Premium. 

Catch you later! 

Peter